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Dad, Endear Your Children
A dad’s heart can be a multitude of concerns, purposes, and responsibilities. These multiplicities can and must be dealt with or they can interfere with each other. Wow, that’s abstract. Let me explain further, anything a dad does will either detract from or add to progress on any or all of his goals. Care must be taken to only take purpose-adding actions in each area of the complex maze that a dad can experience. If not, then energy and emotions belonging to one purpose could be wasted or expended on another. What we’re going to talk about here are some tips for doing little things to love and encourage your kids.
The Necessity of Encouragement: Children will face enough disappointment, discouragement and setback to keep them humble. What they need is a loving dad to encourage them, to give them the exciting knowledge that someone believes in them and their abilities. Dad, this is your job and it can reap rewards long after you’re gone hereafter.
When God entrusts you with the eternal life of a new child, gave a great opportunity in front of you. First, it provided an opportunity to live for something other than yourself and thus grow in your manhood, spirit, and self-control. Living for yourself will eventually leave you in the suicidal and depressed land of “So What”. Men must live for something bigger than themselves, if not then your motivation will drop and your spirit will begin to die a slow death.
Second, God will consider the great deeds your children do as your work in part. That’s because you and your wife are the ones who gave the children the principles, discipline, and self-control they needed to do great and worthwhile things. This is a big topic and I could write a book, but for now let’s move on.
The power of hugs; This is a powerful tool and is regularly used by those who understand “emotional intelligence”. When you hug a child, you give them the idea that everything is going to be okay. When you hug a child, you build a sense of security and loyalty that they need now and will carry into adulthood. Think about it, what if you had grown up believing that you could achieve anything you wanted. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Cuddles can help instill in them the confidence they’ll need to overcome big obstacles, and by overcoming them they’ll build the great character they need to go on to do great things.
If your child loves animals, you will too. If your little girl loves small animals then you must learn to enjoy small animals. My little girl brought home a Chicken the other day. I didn’t panic or foam at the mouth. I don’t really want chickens in the house though. I don’t want to spoil my little girls’ excitement either. She will need that excitement and love for things small and cute later in life. What I did when she came in all excited about wanting me to see her chicken is this, I asked her to bring me the chicken. While he held the chicken, I gently stroked the back of the neck. As I did, I could see my daughter’s nervousness about my reaction change to love, joy, and confidence. We talked about how funny chickens and animals can be. After about five minutes I quietly added “okay, we better take her back outside”. My daughter smiled and said ok dad. We became a little closer because of this incident. I tried to use animals as an activity we enjoy together. Love the good and right things that are loved even if you don’t like them at all. Don’t let the air prince use you [don’t likes] against your family.
Take part in school activities: it’s about the projects your kids come home with. Keep up with what’s going on in their lives and make them feel like when they need help they can come to you. Help them with their work without doing it for them. Use these events to get them talking. If they don’t feel free to talk to you and your spouse, then where will they turn when live issues start to get in the way?
When they show Enthusiasm for a good and right thing, you show Enthusiasm: when the child comes home happy and excited about something, let him play it for you. Listen carefully with enthusiasm, let yourself enjoy their enthusiasm. Listen carefully enough to ask questions. Who else do you want them to share their excitement with, if not you? People of all ages need someone to share life’s adventures with, having a good and proper relationship where you can share your excitement about any subject is critical to a person’s mental health. This is especially true with children.
When are you coming home dad? A good friend of mine tells a story, he would come home after working two jobs, sit on the couch and try to relax by watching a few moments of television. His son was trying to stay awake so he could see his dad for a few moments.
The boy said to him, “Dad, look at that great truck.” This is a good son, and dad would be back on TV. The boy tried to get his attention several times but without success. Then the boy grabbed dad’s cheeks and said “Dad play with me!” This message has been received.
Suddenly a divine knowledge of the importance of the situation entered his heart, his son has been looking forward to his dads return all day and now to dad’s house and they can see each other for about 30 minutes and dad wants to watch TV.
Tears welled up in Dad’s eyes and the TV went off. And he found out
that he finally had the energy to play with his son.
It is written:
“Pro 13:12 Hope deferred sickens the heart: but never desire comes is a tree of life”.
Some parents don’t care if their children fail again and again, as if their hearts don’t matter. There are times when it is bad for their character to give them what they want too often. However, doing the opposite and never giving them what they want can be just as bad. Parents must find a balance, balance can be found in the pursuit of the Almighty and a lifelong search for simple wisdom.
Contact and or teach Principles: children who grow up confident of conquering the world and have never been given a set of guiding principles to live by, usually justify any malicious action against others to get what they want. Trust must be governed and guided by a set of principles. You can instill principles by reading the Bible to children, going to church, and living right in front of your children. Put another way, progress in this area will also occur when your children see you making a sincere effort to live by the principles you want them to live by. What authorities? You can probably come up with a list yourself. However, I will mention some of the most important ones. First, the honor and respect of God, Parents and Authorities, they are the ones who will help the youth when the time comes to make big decisions.
This first principle also activates the promise of a long life. Second, the trust-building art of keeping your word all the time, combined with the art of thinking about what you say before you say it. Third, the joy of telling the truth combined with the manly art of knowing what not to say. Don’t have sex until you’re married. This is a controversial one, but most marriage breakups can be traced back to mistrust created by premarital sex. I will answer questions about this if you visit my website (contact page) and leave a message, I will contact you via email. I want you to be well, happy and live without reason for regrets. Thank you, Robert Tafolla. “All Rights Reserved” © http://emotionalintelligencebooks.com
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