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Turtle Alert

“Turtle alert,” my wife yelled as she looked out the kitchen window to report movement in our yard.” Slowness on my part will prompt a second, louder claxon call, “Turtle alert!” If I’m foolishly ignorant the call because I’m in some important mode (like a video game), it repeats the alert louder and faster to sound like a “turd alert.” The same happened with Hodor, a Game of Thrones character who would sometimes get excited and repeat that would keep a door closed.

Sure enough, an oversized loggerhead turtle with orange lozenge-shaped burnt marks on its shell was patrolling our lawn. Ever, so often, he craned his neck to gain greater reach to support his quest for the elusive mushroom, a coveted backyard delicacy. However, a light and steady rain will transform this armored gourmand into a “pinned turtle”. We can only assume that the rain acts as an aphrodisiac on our soils. More of them leave the forest to play in our backyard during a light rain, and we learn nature’s purpose as the males comically mount the females.

Most likely, on sunny days, we see only male turtles. Anything other than social, then they act like they are defending territory on those days or reacting to a perceived theft of property. “Hey, that other turtle ate my mushroom!” They rarely fight. The bigger ones will run into the smaller ones, who quickly drag it in a different direction. However, on rare occasions, two large tortoises will engage in a staring contest. Their closeness appears as a measure of determination. Their martial art: serious look, serious lack of movement and the tension in the air comes home to affect my wife.

“What are they doing now?” gets flustered during a Hallmark Romance chick flick. Unable to enjoy her show, she wears the rug to collect more turtle reports. Sometimes the turtle gaze war will go on for hours before some terrain restructuring occurs. Then we see each of the big kids patrolling a different patch of lawn in our backyard… unless a mushroom comes into play.

Our turtles are delightful additions to our backyard animal visitors, which also include squirrels, rabbits, moles, the occasional red-tailed hawk, a deer, and more rarely, a wild turkey. At night, various animals start their shift: raccoons, foxes, possums and owls. But our notice of seeing any other wildlife, “I see nature,” seems to imply that loggerhead turtles have a special place in our lives. I’m glad the Australian Fitzroy River turtles don’t visit. They breathe from their rear ends, something I’ve put on my “never want to see” list. #TAG1author

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