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Dealing With a Breakup Or Divorce

Perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of human life is dealing with a breakup. This is the time when the mind can go absolutely “bananas” with all the old memories that come flooding in, thoughts of being with a new guy, curling up in bed late at night with the guilt of past mistakes and trying to figure out what exactly went wrong

Then we begin the painstaking task of comparing each memory and classifying them in terms of “that was MY fault” versus “that was definitely the fault” and, of course, every now and then these two categories tend to reverse. , “Wait! I think that one was actually MY thing, not hers… no, wait, we actually both put it on…” and every now and then the mind goes all “my fault”. ..

…Then come insecurities about your own attractiveness, social worth, ability to love, and you can’t help but wonder, “What does her new man have that I don’t?”…Of course, then the O mind can distort your self-image to make you seem truly unlovable, despicable, and evil. Shame, really. The mistakes you made can become so out of proportion that you look like Hitler. And she looks like a goddess who can do no harm. Then it turns around again, where she looks evil and you look like the victim.

What happens to the mind?

“Victim/Perpetrator Consciousness” is inherent in the ego/mind structure, which sees everything in dualistic “black or white” terms. Secretly, he wants to be seen as “right” about everything so he can “win” arguments, gain approval, and “feel good” again.

The whole thing can be very confusing, and the mind is like a walking, talking contradiction and a real hypocrite by design. It is unreliable. something more is needed to discover the truth. Having emerged from the animal kingdom over long stretches of time, the ego is basically a dinosaur with an intellect.

Dino had it easy. They had no conscience to engage! They didn’t exactly mourn the loss of their personal love. They could just go out and kill all day, come home and not worry about it. Life must have been pretty good.

Breakups and the associated pain, confusion, anguish and suffering are due to not knowing the truth. Whenever we do not know the truth, we feel pain, and whenever we discover the truth, we discover the cure. The truth is like medicine. Forgive your mind for this anguish and sorrow. It just does what it’s “supposed” to do. It’s just an animal. Don’t count on it to solve all your problems and don’t look to it for help with Love. For Love, you must transcend it.

To overcome the pain of separation one must realize that in reality, love can never be lost in the same way that gravity can never be lost. But it takes training and dedication to discover the true Source of Love and Happiness that is within us and all around us every moment without exception.

Trying to solve a Love problem at the level of the intellect will not get us very far. Love is one thing and intellect is another. The mind is great for helping you solve math and computer problems, but when it comes to women and relationships you’ll never succeed by looking to the mind for answers. This is a spiritual event. The intellect operates on the presumption of “cause” and “effect,” but Love is causal. it has no cause. Love is simple. Love just exists. Constantly. The mind just needs to be taught where to look.

When the Source of Love is discovered within, there is no pain it cannot heal. there are no worldly troubles that He cannot take away for you. Godspeed on your inner path.

many blessings,

Stephane Hemon

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