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The L in Love Vs Lust in Lesbian Relationships
I’m obsessed, crazy and in love right now! I can’t think of how to wear my clothes the right way. I forget to eat and sleep is completely irrelevant when you’re on my mind, devouring my every thought.
My stomach is in knots and I know I’ve checked my phone to see if your name has come up on the screen a thousand times in the last hour. Seconds feel like minutes and hours like slow death when I had no contact with you.
You mention another woman’s name and the killer in me comes out, wanting to wrap you in an invisibility cloak so no one steals you away from me. You changed me, you moved me to where all I want is to melt into you. I want to be a part of you, to feel every trace of what drives me crazy.
When lust sneaks into our soul, a whirlwind of sexual energy begins to form, often confusing its host and leaving a path of destruction that is soon forgotten. Some of my worst decisions and financial burdens came from lusts in those early months of a new relationship.
In my manic love affair I spent money I didn’t have and fell into a coma lasting more hours than I slept thinking about every curve in her body. I’m lost in the way her clothes fall off her when I take them apart, the taste of her lips against mine, the smell of her skin, the heat of her breath reddening my skin, and how when I’m naked on her body. softens inside her and wants to disappear forever.
What a feeling? Completely overwhelming and addictive, people can drive us crazy and make us act like caged animals, wanting to escape. But is it healthy? And is it love or lust?
It’s so easy to confuse the two, and we often don’t realize how much we’ve let our lives become impossible with our beautiful distraction, so maybe some clarification would help! If we look at the breakdown of the emotional monster, lust tends to be selfish, domineering, self-centered, an intense sexual desire, a physical attraction, and we may even feel that our love is a cure for all our problems and unhappiness . .
When we lust, we put a lot aside to keep that passion bottled up inside. You’re not crazy if you’ve ever felt like you’re riding an endless roller coaster of mostly highs. Making a chemical called dopamine that’s in full bloom in our brain, it’s a feel-good chemical that has a lot to do with sleep and appetite, so those two are often affected.
Unfortunately, it is this insanity that leads to pain. the distraction takes our eyes off all the red flags and condones acts that we would shut our best friends down to allow to happen to them if the roles were reversed. Foolish optimism leads us into potentially dangerous and life-changing situations. But it feels so good!
I’m not trying to imply that we should avoid lust at all costs like a street drug dealer, but sometimes if you know something, you’ll think a little more and act a little slower. Although some may disagree, I believe that lust can turn into love, and sometimes if you’re lucky and with the right person, a wonderful and healthy love can develop.
A “perfect” love is when you both work to maintain passion and are involved with each other, not just instant gratification (although I’m not giving up the instant gratification I get from ripping your clothes off and throwing you on the bed, sorry for staying.)
This kind of love is where you find your souls connecting and you are able to share and communicate differences as individuals rather than as a maladjusted unit. There are no expectations but only respect and a need to evolve to become a better person. The act of sex is not just a desire to be fulfilled, but the art of expressing the tender warmth and passion that comes out in your relationship. The expression of love must be through communication, compassion, intimacy and faith.
You will know true love and not lust when you are not only attracted to every move he makes like a beautiful dance, but when you are emotionally and intellectually compatible as well. She can make you laugh, think and challenge you to grow on your own path and you respect her with the same love.
I’m feeling optimistic so I’ll leave you with this, good luck and be great explorers of love my Beloveds!
Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru
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