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The Power of Eye Contact

What is eye contact?

Several popular definitions are:

1. Eye contact is one of the most important non-verbal channels you have for communicating and connecting with others.

2. Defined as eye contact between two people expresses meaningful non-verbal communication.

3. Contact that occurs when two people look directly at each other or when two people or animals look into each other’s eyes at the same time.

4. It is the state or action of looking another person or animal in the eye.

Linda Eve Diamond:

“The cheapest, most effective way to connect with people is to look them in the eye.”

What is he doing?

Contact can trigger:

Militant

Smiling

Recognition

Invitation

Understanding

Encouragement

The meeting of the eyes moves two souls. Imagine, all the power your eyes hold.

Of all the ways we communicate, eye contact is perhaps the most powerful. The first step in establishing communication is eye contact.

Communication with pets and animals is done through eye contact, and depending on the animal you keep or avoid contact.

Have you ever looked at a horse and known that your souls had communicated?

Have you ever looked at your dog and known that the two of you connected on a spiritual level?

My best friend and I can communicate volumes with a single glance.

So are the eyes a window to the soul? I would say so.

What is the power of eye contact?

Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“An eye can threaten like a loaded gun, or it can offend like a whistle or a kick, or in its altered mood, be a bundle of kindness. It can make the heart dance for joy.”

Words will probably never be found to communicate what really happens when you communicate with another living being through eye contact. Maybe it should be contact “I”?

Aside from touch, the eyes are the most powerful way to give personal cues.

Eyes show personal involvement and create close bonds. Mutual gaze reduces physical gaps. It brings people closer.

The eyes play an essential role in effective communication and building relationships.

The look of love? Remember that look and physical touch when you knew without words that he was attracted to you.

What can you tell with your eyes?

When you make contact it tells the other person:

you interest me

I respect you

I trust you

You have my attention

I appreciate you

Then there’s avoiding eye contact like the elevator stare. Fear of eye contact with strangers and wild animals. Eye contact can be perceived as a challenge as a precursor to aggression.

We search each other’s eyes for signs of mood like:

Trust can develop almost instantly through eye contact.

Flirting at a glance can be the start of all sorts

Eye contact instantly brings two people closer

Feedback on how others receive you.

With a wink he says you and I know.

Our eyes are wonderful gifts. They help us express our feelings about:

Love

Acceptance

Hope

Warning

Fear

Anger

And many more, without a word.

Not maintaining eye contact in this country means that the person is not trustworthy.

In other countries maintaining eye contact can be considered rude and disrespectful.

What is eye movement?

Touch gives you valuable clues about what a person is thinking.

Kinesthetic people tend to look down

Visual people tend to look up

Auditory people tend to look sideways

People who look left to gather thoughts tend to be religious, artistic. Most likely they will remember.

People who look to the right tend to be scientific

People looking up and to the right may be constructing or making up a response.

Eye contact can mean permission to speak or it can be a command. like when you say to someone “look at me when I’m talking to you”.

We demand their attention. also, that they join us on a deeper level.

People who are autistic or have social anxiety problems have trouble maintaining contact as do liars.

When might you want to make eye contact?

When you want to say hello without a word.

Let’s exchange a warm greeting

In store to make someone’s day

At dinner

In an interview

At a party

Playing a team sport

When might you want to avoid eye contact?

Walking down a dark alley

Face to face with a bear or other predatory animal

While driving

Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Among the most wonderful things in nature is the gleam of the eye, it transcends speech, it is the physical symbol of identity.”

You can learn to maintain good contact. Practice doing it.

Reach out and smile at a stranger, it can’t hurt.

Staying in touch helps you focus on what the other person is saying. rather than thinking ahead about what you want to say.

In western culture a person with heavy eyes is looked down upon. they are suspicious, up to and including no good.

Mahatma Gandhi:

“An eye for an eye and soon the whole world is blind.”

SUMMARY

Benjamin Franklin:

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half closed after.”

In our society there is an increased need for interaction. Think of the joy you can convey by making contact and smiling at the checker in the store, in the queue or at a passerby on the street.

It sends positive vibes. It is a sign of a confident person

Build Confidence… Practice Contact

Copyright © Wee Dilts 2009

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