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The Narcissist’s Play Book

The narcissist’s book

Written by Randi Fine, Narcissistic Abuse Expert

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Coaching with Randi Fine

During my many years in the field of narcissistic abuse recovery, I have discovered something remarkable. narcissists seem to operate from the same playbook. I don’t know who wrote it, when it was written, or where a copy could be found, but it must exist because the evidence shows again and again that narcissists are the most authentic beings on the planet. Everyone does and says the same things.

Narcissists may look human, they may even act human, but in reality they have more in common with untamed animals and insects than with humanity. Like the creatures of the wild, they live their lives in survival mode. predators without empathy on a perpetual hunt for vulnerable prey. And just like a lion on the prowl, the execution of capturing the victim may vary in detail, but the method of devouring the prey is always the same.

The stories the survivors told me are outrageous. believed only by those who have experienced something similar. Survivors rightly believe that their experience is unique and that their abusers are more deviant than most. The word “malignant” is often used to preface the word “narcissist” because narcissism alone does not seem to adequately describe the horrors they have experienced.

Any experience as a victim of narcissistic abuse is truly horrific. And while malignant narcissism exists, it rarely applies to the average situation. Narcissists destroy their targets through mind games. Malignant narcissists mutilate and murder. It doesn’t get any worse than that. Victims of malignant narcissists rarely survive to tell their tale.

The patterns of narcissistic abuse, whether parental or spousal, romantic, work-related, or otherwise, are so predictable that I could tell everyone’s story before they tell it, though I don’t because that’s not what survivors want or need. me. They desperately need to be heard, validated and supported – often for the first time. And they need a road map to recovery.

As horrific and outrageous as the stories are, as brilliant and powerful as each narcissist is perceived to be, they are all versions of the same and seem to come from the same book. They are exceptional in the sense that they can calculate a complex abuse campaign spanning days, weeks, months and years in milliseconds. And they are powerful in their ability to intimidate and control, although this power is only effective with those under their spell. Once the veil is lifted and they are exposed for what they are, they become powerless. It doesn’t seem like it because the loss of control of an emotional hostage incites a merciless revenge that knows no bounds. There are no depths to which a vengeful narcissist will not stoop. But the pattern of revenge also seemingly follows a playbook. Again, largely authentic.

Narcissists are the most destructive beings on the planet. They seek to destroy every life they come close to. Survivors of this abuse have a lot to overcome in order to restore their upside down reality to a healthy functioning reality. With the right support and guidance, full recovery is entirely possible.

It can seem like narcissists move on with their lives with a scratch, while survivors are left to pick up the shattered remains of their nearly decimated lives. But like every other aspect of narcissistic abuse, this perception is illusory. Narcissists exist in a tortured, perpetual purgatory of their own doing from which they can never escape. Survivors have the ability to heal, become even better versions of themselves, and go on to live happy lives.

Power is transferred once survivors gain access to the narcissist’s playbook. The book is elementary. anyone can learn it. The most difficult aspect of this training, which feels completely unnatural to tender survivors, is developing the shrewd, discerning character required to take back their personal power. Once done the rest is child’s play.

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