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Surround Yourself with Support to Overcome a Broken Heart

How to build a support system during a love crisis

“Broken Heart Syndrome: Real, Potentially Deadly, But Recovery Is Fast” according to Hopkins scientists.”

In 2005, a condition called stress cardiomyopathy was discovered by Hopkins researchers. Also known as “broken heart“Syndrome, it can cause sudden, but reversible, heart failure that mimics a heart attack. Scientists claim it is caused by an emotional shock, such as a breakup, divorce or death.

Speaking from personal experience, when your heart is broken, it’s hard to move on in life. You get stuck in a funk that is almost impossible to shake. You hole up for days feeling lonely, sad and downright depressed. It’s hard to imagine that you can ever feel happy again…

If you are “there”, please allow me to share “how to” create a loving support system. Then do it. Please.

Sorry, but stay connected.

During the grieving process, it is important to surround yourself with positive people and things. Reconnect with your most optimistic friends. Throw a slumber party and play your favorite dance tunes. Invite friends and family over for a cookout or share your favorite dessert with a neighbor.

Think of all those things you’ve wanted to do but never had the time. Volunteer at a local animal shelter, visit an art gallery or museum, take a Salsa class, or plant a garden. Take an art class. Learn how to sail. Whatever you do, make sure it brings you joy and happiness.

Nourish your body and spirit.

Fuel your body with healthy foods and drinks. Avoid alcohol for now. It’s depressing and disrupts your sleep cycle. Protein foods like eggs, cheese, meat and poultry stimulate the mind and can keep you up at night. Whenever possible, eat dinner at least 3 to 4 hours before going to bed.

If you’re not already drinking eight 8-ounce glasses of filtered water, now is the time to start. Start your day by drinking a cool glass of H2O. Add a lemon wedge or some fresh berries for a refreshing drink. Wait for coffee until you wake up for at least a couple of hours and limit yourself to no more than two 6-ounce cups.

Every night before you go to bed write down three achievements for that day. He got up from the bed. It worked. Filamentary. He went back to bed. Use these if you get stuck, they worked for me.

You can also write about your worries of the day, your dreams, hopes, graces and gratitudes. Don’t judge, don’t censor – if it comes to mind, put it down and let it go.

Do not read again. Let each page and each day go. You – keep moving forward. You will find, little by little, that your heart will lighten, the good will come naturally and the pain will slip away.

After the diary, play relaxing music to sleep. After all, it works for babies and me, why not for you? If you don’t already have a radio or CD player, consider investing in one. Look for models that include a sleep timer and auto-off. Experts recommend listening to nature sounds like ocean waves and birdsong to calm a busy mind.

The mind is a bad neighborhood. Don’t go there alone.

– My peeps

When we’re hurt and depressed, it’s natural to want to crawl into that cave and lick those wounds. BUT, if you live there day in and day out, that’s called depression and it’s a baaaaand neighborhood.

I am so grateful to any spirit that moved me to cry for help and made me willing to receive it. Here are some of my supporters. I encourage you to find yours.

Rely on documents, family and friends.

The documents…

Dr. Bell, Psychologist. Belle’s specialty was helping women break free from dependent, unhealthy relationships with significant others and themselves. He told me my “selector” was broken and helped me fix it.

Dr. Gray, my primary care physician. He sent me to Dr. Bell and together they worked together to heal me, both physically and emotionally.

Family friends. All angels in disguise especially…

My parents. Mom was stoic, no nonsense, just there for me. When I told my dad the news of my breakup, he dropped everything, picked me up, and took me to breakfast. While I cried in my balls, he talked to me about things like sleeping, eating, and talking to my doctor. The ones I’m talking to you about now.

Claudia. He insisted on taking me out of the house and onto the tennis court. (Great idea – broken hearts need to be physically vented). We spent hours hitting the ball, laughing about sex, men, financial difficulties, boobs and everything under the sun. He also tore through my closet and discarded all my “family/husband” style clothes. Yes, I dressed like I was the lead in Little House on the Prairie.

Maffe. Years later it is still a daily source of encouragement. She drove for hours to take me out to eat when I told her about the breakup. I will never forget that afternoon. Or the hours we’ve spent together on the phone since then. You don’t have to be around or near to get (or give) the Love you need.

Catherine. He said “I’m sorry you’re going through such a difficult time.” The Cat didn’t tell me what to do, how to do it, or tell me what she thought about it. He presented me with a plane ticket with an invitation for a comfortable, compassionate visit.

Tune in to Relationship Advice from Authors and Experts

Dan Millman, Cathy Guisewite, Robert Kiyosaki, Mari Smith, Dr. Harriet Lerner, Maria & Michael Carter, Dr. Kalish, Sandra Taylor, Terry Hernon MacDonald, Karen Rontowski, Tracy Smith, Armando de Peralta, Rene Godefroy, Paul Gilligan, Marc H. Rudov, Martha Beck, Erica Miner, Dr. Catherine Hamlin … and the list goes on …

Thanks to wsRadio.com, I was able to spend hours and hours interviewing love and relationship writers on The Get Ready For Love Show. I read their books, did their exercises and followed their relationship advice. (Guess what. It worked. That’s another story, another day.)

Feel free to tune in to these interviews, 24/7 at http://www.GetReadyForLove.com/topicindex.html.

Al-anon, last but not least.

How can I describe Al-anon? Let me put it this way. When I first met with Dr. Bell, I told her that I wanted to live my life again and I wanted to feel happy again. He asked me if I had heard of a program called Al-anon and recommended that I try it. “Go to six meetings,” he said, “and see if Al-Anon is for you.” I did it. I’m still going strong.

To hear my interview about healthy relationships and the magic behind the Al-anon Program, go to: [http://www.healyourselftalk.com/fatigue.html].

In closing, I can tell you that no ailment is permanent and time heals all wounds. I can tell you that you must be a very loving and lovable person to be so moved by this breakup. I remember something I heard when I was in your shoes. It shook my heart – it gave me hope.

“You think your life is falling apart. Maybe it’s just starting to come together.”

Hmmmmm. This may apply to you as well. Couldn’t he?

Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Take good care of yourself starting with your body. Get some sleep, replenish your health, and connect your emotional support hotlines – all of them.

And, don’t give up on Love.

Don’t give up until you make your miracle happen… (and you will.)

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