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How Dog Poo Caught a Criminal
The “Scratch and Sniff” Animal Shelter located in a small town in Iowa was looking for a person to volunteer to care for the dogs and cats at their facility. Specifically, they wanted someone who would volunteer to pick up after the dogs they walked.
A man in his forties came into the shelter to volunteer for the position. His name was Kurt Bass, who was a minor league player for a local town. The director of the animal center thanked him profusely for volunteering and wondered if he could start the same day.
Meanwhile, a violent criminal with over a hundred robberies, murders and money laundering on his rap sheet was being chased by seven cops. The man whose name was “Joe Manzini” drove an old Ford Dart at speeds of up to 95 mph. This “Public Enemy #1” has drifted and turned into many unsavory places, but the cops keep up with him. Finally, the man cut off a short road with many turns. But Manzini decided to hit the brakes and jump out to head into a forest on his left.
Back at the shelter, Kurt was out on “poo patrol”. He was instructed to wear latex gloves to pick up the stuff and put it in the handy trash cans around the area.
A boy saw the local star picking up the piles and recognized him. He asked his mother if she could come out to meet him and she gave it to him. When he met his “favorite player” he told him how much he admired his pitching skills. She asked him why he quit baseball to collect dogs, to which he replied, “I wanted to do something else with my arm.”
Then the boy asked him why he couldn’t throw the stuff over the 12 foot high fence at the back of the lot. Kurt said, “Well, they didn’t tell me not to.” The boy asked him if he could see him fly again. Kurt thought about showing him when he spied a hill nearby. He told the boy, “Don’t tell anyone I did this.”
So the former player took his place and hurled the stink. He flew over the fence. The boy was awed by this. he had never seen the dog fly.
When Joe left the car in the woods, he saw a clearing that overlooked a tall hedge. He thought he fooled the cops, so he was about to run for the fence when a piece of dogwood hit him, completely covering his face. He screamed and cursed as the foul smelling substance hit him hard.
The police had seen his car with no one inside except for the left door which had been opened. As the officers crowded around the car, they heard someone swearing and shouting. They went into the woods and saw Joe with feces covering his face. The officers were stunned to see their number one public enemy shouting four letter words that suggested mayhem into his face.
“What happened here?” the police chief asked the criminal. He told him things came out of nowhere hitting him in the face behind a 12-foot fence. An investigation was carried out into how he threw the poon over a fence. Of course, the one who threw the punch was minor league baseball pitcher Kurt Bass. Now he was a local hero.
After a week, reporters from major national newspapers wrote about this event. Some of the headlines included: “The Best Throw Outside Minor League History”, “Poo Throw Out of the Ballpark”, “It Stinks to be Public Enemy #1”. In an interview with Kurt on “Good Morning America” he was asked how he felt about his heroics. He replied, “It’s all in the wrist. Also, in his case it’s not how you throw but what you throw.”
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#Dog #Poo #Caught #Criminal