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How to Overcome Loneliness – 15 Techniques That Work Like a Charm
Everyone feels lonely at some point. And it can be difficult to make new friends in today’s turbulent and unpredictable world. The friends and acquaintances we have may be so busy and busy that they don’t even notice how lonely we are. We may not tell them how we feel because we don’t want to upset anyone. So . . . we suffer in silence.
What’s a man to do?
Well, if you find yourself sitting at home – alone – feeling sorry for yourself, just try some of these 15 tricks to reduce loneliness and make new friends. They have worked for many of my clients and will work for you.
15 Safe Fire Techniques
1. Look in your address book or think old relationships that you can revive. Even if you have lost your job, you can contact some of your former colleagues and arrange to meet them for lunch or a social outing. Stay in touch and maintain those relationships.
2. Continue any current relationships, also . . . stay in touch with your friends and colleagues. Offer to meet them for coffee or tea.
3. Use your hobbies and interests as a springboard to meet new people. Join a book reading group, a gardening club, or sign up for an exercise class.
Let’s say you keep tropical fish. You can join your local aquarium club and attend their meetings faithfully. Join the chess club or a writers group. When you’re in a meeting, start the conversations. In time, relationships will follow. And you won’t feel so alone!
In the small town where I live there is a drawing club and people who like sketching and drawing get together once or twice a month to do what they love. And there is an art guild, made up of local artists who give each other support and encouragement.
Whatever you want to do, you can find a club or organization that can help you meet new friends.
4. Volunteer your time.
No matter where you may live, there is probably an animal shelter that needs volunteers to help care for homeless pets.
Our local paper ran a story last week about a man who lost his job and volunteered at the animal shelter. He befriended many animals and people and soon became the director of the shelter. And now she has a new life that she absolutely loves!
In almost every community there are nursing homes where the lonely, old and sick live. Open your heart to them. By helping others, you will help yourself.
I know people who take their pets to nursing homes and group homes for homeless children, where they allow their pets to minister to the elderly and sick, to touch people’s lives. I know others who take gift baskets to nursing homes. And others playing music for the disabled or sleeping.
5. Take your dog to obedience class.
You will meet other dog owners and can participate in fun meetings and obedience trials. Note: Avoid using your pet as a substitute for human companionship. But a happy, healthy dog can introduce you to new friends!
6. Go to your house of worship and get busy.
There will be programs to participate in and people to meet, classes to attend and special services to attend. You will find caring people who can help you make new friends and connections. Reach out with kindness to other lonely people in the religious community. Your loneliness will subside!
7. Find someone in your life to help you in some way. Sometimes being a good listener will make you many new friends. Find someone who lives on your street or in your apartment building who can welcome your friendship and open up a conversation.
Offer your help. Give of your time. You’ll grow closer to those you’re helping, and you’ll likely meet others in the process. And you won’t feel lonely while you are with others.
8. Visit your local coffee shop and join the discussions when the opportunity presents itself.
Get to know employees and customers and let them get to know you. Stop by on a regular basis and you’ll soon have a home away from home where you can always engage in a good social environment. Be polite, even if you are shy. All you have to do is ask someone what kind of interesting drink they have, or talk about the news or the weather. Join conversations — they’re loneliness busters!
9. Read the local newspaper.
You will feel more part of the world by following current events. And there are always stories about local groups and organizations that might interest you and give you a chance to meet people.
10. Offer to teach a class or workshop at your local YMCA or community training center.
Chances are you have a skill or area of expertise that others are interested in learning. You will enjoy the social contact you will experience. Share your knowledge and skills with others. How good you will feel!
11. Ask about joining a civic organization.
There are many worthwhile organizations that may be of interest to you. Ask if you can join a meeting to decide if you want to participate. A friend of mine coped with the loss of her husband to cancer by joining Habit For Humanity. Every time she helped build a house she had a great time and felt connected to others in a meaningful way.
12. Join chat rooms and blogs about topics that interest you and keep up with others online. But be careful not to overdo it. Nothing replaces real live friends that you can interact with in person!
13. Take a part-time job at a restaurant or other business where you can meet and serve people and take an interest in other employees.
14. Avoid being an outsider. There are people out there who want and need to meet you, but you have to seek them out! Let’s say you go from the bookstore and open the door for others. You are taking a small but important step in feeling more connected to others and in a positive social environment.
Forget about introducing yourself to others and showing interest in them. Wherever you go, take your best (and most outgoing) self with you. . . and use it to interact with people. Research says outgoing people are less lonely than others.
For example, if you go on a nearby hike that is frequented by many people in your community. . . Instead of staying alone and avoiding social contact, talk to other walkers and strike up conversations with them. Soon someone will warm to you and you will have a nice, satisfying conversation. Going there several times a week will allow you to maintain your new relationships with other exercisers and give you the opportunity to meet new people.
You don’t have to be an extrovert to let your light shine and befriend others. In turn, they will be friends to you.
15. Find ways to make yourself more attractive. We all have some flaws. Identify yours and work to change them, thus making yourself more attractive to others.
The power of good deeds
Good deeds always come back to us in amazing ways. They open doors for us in their good time. As you open your arms to others, you will develop a kinship with many people. You will soon feel less alone. And you will become a part of other people’s lives in a more significant and meaningful way. Go where you are needed, serve others, find creative ways to give your love, help someone in need, make someone’s day and do something good. . . you won’t be so alone!
Sometimes the hardest part of loneliness is feeling so down in the dumps that you just can’t imagine a possible solution.
What to do;
First, don’t give in to negative thoughts or expectations. Instead, think positive.
And second, do something! Pretend! Don’t allow yourself to sit around and complain. Get up and make something happen. Just do it! Go and make a good dead. Start a conversation. Do something worthwhile.
If you follow this plan, remember to forget about being lonely and stop focusing your energy on lonely thoughts and feelings, you will soon find that your loneliness will disappear.
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