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Self-Help Rx for Loss and Grief: What to Do When It All Falls Apart

Having experienced personal and professional losses in a relatively short period of time, the world as I knew it was turned inside out and upside down. The function was moment to moment. Anything more would be too much to ask.

I once read that the wonder of going through devastating adversity, grace as much as anything else, is that somehow one eventually regains one’s center—probably with an added dimension of wisdom and empathy for others. As the saying goes, you can’t really understand another person unless you’ve “walked the walk”.

Whatever heartbreak or despair you may be experiencing, imagine a steady presence and a gentle hand around you. This presence reminds you to be kind to yourself and take it slow. From the expanded perspective of All That Is, the present moment is all there is. Instead of resisting what happened, let this moment be what it is, where it is.

When losses and related grief come into your life, it often brings up many old issues. If you feel strong emotions, allow yourself to be with them. While they may sometimes feel like they will swallow you, they won’t. You are stronger than this. When you allow yourself to fully feel the emotions, they will diminish and fade. Slow, deep breathing will help move the emotional energy within you. Doing this several times, or as you feel comfortable, will help you calm down.

Know that the Intelligence within you will guide you forward in a way that is right for you. This can be done by bringing just the right person into your life to help you, messages that speak to you like this article or something you notice in your daily life.

The nature of the universe is love and growth, therefore change. Circumstances have come to you after all for the purpose of your own development. Although it can be very painful to experience the conditions that bring about change, know that growth requires the exchange of old ways of being with the new.

When you are able, ask yourself what you are learning from your experience. When you can begin to answer this, you will be well on your way to overcoming current difficulties and obstacles.

I remember:

• Be kind and patient with yourself and take it slow

• Do not resist what is happening

• Allow yourself to fully feel your emotions, whatever they may be

• I’m breathing

• Find out about the ways they help you

• Be patient with your progress

• Consider talking or listening to others in a support group

• As time passes, reflect on the wisdom you have gained

When you work with what is versus what was, know that one day you will find yourself reflecting on your past experience in terms of new wisdom and inner strength.

Copyright ©2011 Catherine Lenard/Catherine Lenard Unlimited. All rights reserved worldwide.

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